Most people appreciate a compliment, yet many compliments on dates feel awkward, either because they are too generic or because they arrive too fast. Saying someone looks nice is polite, but it tells them nothing about what you actually noticed, and it can sound like a line you would say to anyone. On the other hand, an overly intense compliment early in a date can feel uncomfortable, because it places pressure on the other person to respond in kind. The sweet spot is smaller and simpler than most people think: a specific observation, delivered warmly, at a natural moment, without expecting anything back.

Genuine compliments work because they show attention. When you notice something particular, whether it is a thoughtful choice, a sense of humour, or the way someone described an experience, you are telling them that you were actually listening. That feels very different from flattery, which is usually about making an impression rather than expressing appreciation. People can usually sense the difference, even if they cannot explain it. A compliment that could only apply to this person, in this conversation, will always land better than one that could apply to anyone.

Appearance compliments are not forbidden, but they are stronger when they are specific and respectful. Instead of a broad comment about looks, you might notice a distinctive detail, such as a colour that suits them, an interesting piece of jewellery, or the care they put into their outfit. Keep the tone warm and brief, and avoid comments about their body, which can feel intrusive on a first or second date. A simple, sincere remark, followed by moving the conversation on naturally, feels comfortable rather than intense.

Compliments about character and choices often mean even more, because they recognise who someone is rather than how they look. You might appreciate how clearly they explained something, how funny a story was, how kind they were to someone, or how passionate they sounded about a project. These compliments require you to have listened, which is exactly why they feel genuine. They also open the conversation, because the other person can respond by telling you more about that interest or experience, rather than simply saying thank you and moving on.

When you give a compliment matters as much as what you say. The best moments are natural pauses, such as after someone has finished a story, when you notice something in the moment, or when you are saying goodbye. Forcing a compliment into the first minute of a date can feel rehearsed, because you have not yet had a chance to notice anything real. Waiting until you genuinely feel appreciation, and then saying it simply, is far more convincing. You do not need to build up to it dramatically; a calm, straightforward sentence is enough.

Tone matters too. Speak as you normally would, without suddenly becoming formal or overly enthusiastic, and keep eye contact relaxed rather than intense. If you feel nervous, that is fine; a slightly shy, sincere compliment often feels more genuine than a smooth, practised one. Avoid stacking several compliments together, which can feel overwhelming, and avoid complimenting and then immediately asking for something, which makes the praise feel transactional. One thoughtful compliment, given freely, is worth far more than a string of them.

It is also worth thinking about how you receive compliments, because deflecting every kind word can make the other person feel awkward. A simple thank you, perhaps with a brief response, is enough; you do not need to return a compliment immediately or to explain why you do not deserve it. Accepting praise graciously is part of a relaxed date, and it encourages the other person to be open too. If a compliment ever feels uncomfortable, you can acknowledge it briefly and steer the conversation elsewhere without making a scene.

If giving compliments feels unnatural to you, practise in low-stakes settings first. Notice something specific you appreciate about a friend, a colleague, or a family member, and say it plainly. Over time, this habit becomes natural, and you will find that genuine observations come to mind more easily on dates as well. The goal is not to become smooth or impressive; it is to become attentive. When you truly pay attention to the person in front of you, sincere compliments tend to follow on their own, and they rarely sound rehearsed, because they are not.